I started writing this article on our yacht. Sailing has become (for the most part) a time of irreplaceable wonderful experiences. It didn’t start out that way.
I have been terrified of deep water for as long as I can remember. This makes sailing a challenge to say the least. In fact my fear of deep water combined with a tendency to not trust myself to do the right thing made sailing not an option for a large part of my life.
Friends changed that when they took us out on their boat and my husband’s passion for sailing got re-ignited.
When I was diagnosed with cancer making the most of our lives, including spending time with our children in beautiful bays in NZ became a loud priority. I was still terrified of the water but I decided to make sailing a challenge I could step up to. I set myself a challenge of improving every time I went out on the boat.
With the help of a hypnotherapy session and a few sailing lessons I was able to feel more comfortable on the boat and then focus on what I was doing. Gradually I was able to get better and better at what I was doing, which improved my confidence etc.
Sailing was a great option for challenging myself because it didn’t matter. My husband could sail the boat by himself if need be, so my involvement wasn’t crucial, just preferred. Sailing was also not something I had any identity investment in, so again it didn’t actually matter if I was able to improve and learn or not.
All personal development I have come across has stepping outside your comfort zone as part of the philosophy. It makes sense, you are where you are now, and moving into the unknown will have an element of perceived or real risk, and this feels uncomfortable.
If you have been diagnosed with cancer and have undergone treatments then I assume you have already been challenged to some degree. So, why keep challenging yourself?
You stepped up to the challenge of cancer treatments (congratulations by the way!) because of the outcome you wanted.
Now that you are recovering, challenging yourself is more on your own terms and extends what you are capable of. This is important for recovering, you don’t want to stop here, you want to recover well.
The difference is now the challenges you set yourself are more within your control, and ultimately will (hopefully) have more pleasantly rewarding side effects and outcomes.
For example chemotherapy is about being alive (definitely a desired outcome) whereas exercise is more about being fit and feeling alive (a desired and pleasant outcome).
Now, when I use the word challenge please understand that what I am referring to is “just beyond the comfort zone”.
When I walked after my surgery I didn’t set myself a challenge of walking a marathon, my first challenge was to make it to the end of the road and back. Then a little further. Please please please be kind to yourself. Challenging yourself to support your recovery is about going a little further than you are comfortable with in order to EXTEND your comfort zone, NOT in order to break yourself and beat yourself up!!
With sailing, it didn’t really matter to me. This meant it was low pressure and I could extend myself at my own pace.
There will be time to add in more crucial focussed challenges, but to start with I suggest you pick something that:
Ideas include:
Sailing (if you have the right support!)
Playing a musical instrument
Learning a language
Growing tomatoes/ herbs/ flowers
No-one is providing intervention or as much support anymore. There aren’t as many appointments, which is great, but you may well not be in a state to just “pick up where you left off and get on with your life”. This whole experience might have also led you to alter what you focus on and how you wish to spend your time, so you are possibly recovering your wellness and well-being while also creating (or re-creating) your “normal” life.
Having a small challenge to focus on can be a practice run for the resilience and persistence necessary for the bigger challenge of recovering well. The ultimate goal being keeping taking care of yourself so you are living life well for the rest of your life.
My mantra at the beginning of my recovery process was from a song called L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N“ At the end of my life, I’ll pay a high price, to have no regrets and be done with my life”. (When I was diagnosed with breast cancer I was in no way done with my life!!)
The challenges I stepped up to are the high price I was paying – to do everything I could to be well, to be spending my time in ways that were meaningful, rewarding and joyful to me.
As a naturopath I called my business Anewable, because I wanted to promote the process of taking what is good and improving, keeping going and growing, and taking care of yourself. If you would like the support of individual naturopathic consultations you as you make changes towards healthier habits, you can contact me at Amanda@anewable.co.nz
I have found with the people that I help that using minerals gives us a strong foundation to work with.
On a personal level I am extremely grateful for the support of minerals!!
When you start to think in a downward spiral, or become distracted or focussing on negative “unwanted” thoughts - of the past, the present or the future you simply tell your brain “Useful Thoughts Only”
The trick is catching yourself in the act, but I suspect you may have a few (or even many) opportunities each day to practice this technique. The great thing is, even if you realise after quite a while that you have been riding the unhelpful thought train, you can stop at any time and tell yourself - USEFUL THOUGHTS ONLY.
